Are our friends our soulmates?

There I am, in the thick of a gruesome breakup, just trying to keep my head above sea level. Then my bestie sends a text I didn’t even know I needed. After days of not feeling chosen, here’s my girlhood — in all her softness and loyalty — reminding me she’ll always choose me. And I believe her. I do. Because even without saying it out loud, I’ve always seen her show up like that.

It’s giving Sex and the City, Season 4, Episode 1, when Charlotte drops what might be one of the most quietly revolutionary lines in the entire series:

“Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates, and guys are just people we have fun with.”

At the time, I remember hearing that and brushing it off like a cute, whimsical thought. But now—after 3 failed serious relationships and four deep, beautifully enduring friendships—I’m starting to wonder if Charlotte was on to something.

Because while romance can be magical, fleeting, and oh-so-messy, the love I’ve shared with my friends? That’s been unwavering. Consistent. Sacred in its own soft way.

They’ve seen it all and stayed

Friends are the ones who’ve watched you spiral after a situationship that didn’t deserve your tears. They’ve heard you talk in circles about red flags you absolutely planned to ignore. They’ve witnessed your glow-ups, your 3 a.m. texts, your rock bottoms... and they still show up.

That level of love? It’s not passive. It’s intentional. It’s choosing you, repeatedly—not because they have to, but because they want to.

In a world where romantic love often comes with conditions, expectations, and ultimatums, friendship is where grace lives.

Friendship is intimacy, too

We don’t talk enough about how intimate friendships actually are.

Who else gets to see the version of you that doesn’t wear makeup, has a fridge full of oat milk and nothing else, and ugly cries during voice notes? Who else texts back “home safe?” after a night out without fail? Who else can sit in silence with you and it not feel weird?

This is emotional safety. This is a love that doesn’t ask you to shrink or reshape yourself to be worthy. It's built on trust, vulnerability, inside jokes, and the kind of comfort you don't even realise you're craving until you're wrapped in it.

What if love isn’t linear?

We’ve been taught that love is a straight line: date → fall in love → marry → forever. But maybe love is more like a web—wide, soft, intricate—and your people, your real people, are at the centre of it.

Maybe the great love of your life doesn’t come with a ring, but with a pair of matching sweats and the exact right words when you need them. Maybe they remember your cycle, your Seattle order, and the name of your high school crush. Maybe they love you not just for how you love them but for how you’ve grown beside each other.

So yeah, Charlotte might’ve said it in passing—but it’s stayed with me ever since. And now? I’m starting to believe it: Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates. And romantic partners?  Well, they’re the ones we have fun (and sometimes heartbreak) with.

Here’s to love in all its forms. But especially to the friends who’ve never left.

Here’s to living minimally ever after. 🤍